Narcissistic Relationships Put The Partners At Risk In Many Ways
Narcissistic Relationships - The Signs Of Narcissism.
The first step is to recognise the signs.If you're in a narcissistic relationship it's essential that you protect yourself, from many areas that you will be under attack. Some of these types of abuse are:
The verbally abusive and controlling narcissist - the one who uses emotional abuse as his weapon of choice. He tells his victim who she can see, think and do. Or in the case of Janet, whose husband makes her recite every day, "I'm only worth 29 cents - the price of a bullet," and in doing so he erodes her self-worth to nothing to keep her under his control.
Who else could possible want such a worthless woman? With that belief formed, she will never leave him for good, although she makes many brief attempts to do so. The brainwashing that continues daily is emotionally exhausting, draining, and vastly unhealthy.
Verbal abuse is hurtful and usually attacks the nature and abilities of the partner. Over time, the partner may begin to believe that there is something wrong with her / her abilities. She may come to feel that she is the problem, rather than her partner.
Verbal abuse is often insidious. The partner's self-esteem gradually diminishes, usually without her realizing it's happening. She may consciously or unconsciously try to change her behavior so as not to upset the abuser.
Normally a narcissist stays within the law, but may break the rules of morality of a society. Narcissist are careful about it because, even if they do not feel guilty, they want to avoid the shame of discovery.
The sexual relationship with the narcissist is peculiar. Narcissists are exhibitionists and sex is just one further means of being admired to her or him. True intimacy doesn't and you will frequently feel used. The narcissist will demand that you subdue yourself to their wishes.
Narcissistic individuals do not tend to be physically abusive although there are some out there that are. Their worst weapon is their mouth. With their mouth they spit verbal negations and dispense emotional abuse. Their vocal cords are their method of attempting to control others.
Since narcissists cannot be changed, you need to reevaluate your needs and long term goals for the relationship - it may be interesting for a while to be around such type of people but in the long run it gets exhausting and anger and resentment will overshadow any feelings of love and tenderness.
Don't give in to their never-ending demands, keep your independence from this type of person - if in any way you depend on them, they will blackmail you to make you give in to their desires.
Don't let yourself be infuriated by their lack of empathy or understanding - they are not capable of it. Showing them their incapacity will do nothing - they will blame you for everything that it doesn't work.
Narcissists will be attached to those that satisfy their needs but will never treat them as partners but as followers. They have the need to lead and be in control constantly - they do not need equals but disciples or pleasers. The worst thing that can happen is when one narcissist meets someone with low self-esteem - it will be the perfect victim and toy for them.
Finally, you need to decide when enough is enough. A relationship with a narcissist can take you places where you do not want to be, can make you behave in ways you do not recognize yourself . It can undermine your self esteem and will rob you of the attention you need to give to yourself trying to meet all their needs.