New paradigm of partnership

take from an article on
 http://divineharmony.org/writings/121-a-new-paradigm-of-partnership--v15-121
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the other paradigm of partnership which has been in large part a reactionary stance to the one mentioned above is based on freedom, independence, and individuality. think back to the 60's and 70's and the Love revolution that ensued. make love, not war. free love! love everyone! we are all one- the one i love is everywhere. this is the kind of Love rumi harkens to in his poems. in it's core is the essence of Divine Love. the kind of Love that knows no boundaries and sees the Divine in everyone and everything. this Love is beautiful, open and free. it is the kind of Love that helps us dissolve attachments that are based on fears, wounding and a belief in lack. the first paradigm of partnership is all about attachment and ownership (in its most unhealthy expression). this second paradigm of partnership is the opposite. the highest expression of this Love gives us the ability to see the other as Other and to allow them their experience. we don't want to control the other or dominate the other, we want the best for the other. we love them unconditionally from a place of Soul/Spirit, not from a place of lack or need. 

of course this type of partnership also has a massive shadow. many people who gravitate towards this kind of connecting are actually coming from a very wounded place where commitment, stability and security scare them. for those of us who are afraid of form and prefer formlessness, this kind of partnership allows us to *think* we are engaging in evolved relationship- allowing others to be free (which is a covert means to ensure our own freedom)- but we are actually acting from a place of fear and pain. for some of us it seems better/safer to never get too deep into connection because that is where the vulnerability is, and that will bring up our own shadow. it is better to be light and free- connect with everyone, feel the Love! or alternatively, avoid relationship completely and just be solo, independent and self-possessed. either way the point is to never connect too deeply- to never get 'attached'. attachment for people who are into this kind of partnership is a scary thing and so a judgment has been built around it- a belief that attachment is lower vibration/unevolved/unhealthy, or that relationship takes away their independence. this paradigm of partnership is very self-focused and at its worst it is incredibly selfish. it is about my needs, my desires- and my lack of interest in making space for another in my life. it is a covert way of escaping shadow work as well. it is in deep connection that the worst of us comes up and out, but also the best! 'love brings up everything unlike itself.' for those who are afraid of what they might see within- escaping connection and the attachment that comes with it is a means to keep the dragons at bay. a lot of people will even go so far as to sabotage connections so that they never get to a place where they can get deeper. it's interesting what the human psyche will do when confronted with the ability to transform!